Category: A’s Assortment

FOR 40 years, the good ladies of the Women’s Institute have been washing their hands and putting on their pinnies to bake cakes and biscuits for the terminally ill patients … Continue readingThe Cakes of Wrath

A YOUTH football club has been ordered to pay £3,000 compensation to the family of a boy aged ten who claimed he was the victim of ‘racism’ and ‘emotional abuse’.The heinous … Continue readingAre you blind, ref! Don’t you know emotional abuse when you see it?

SUNDAY’S edition of Radio Four’s Something Understood will be the last to be recorded. In future, the BBC will use the slot to repeat programmes from the show’s 24-year back catalogue. The … Continue readingSomething Incomprehensible

NEWS to gladden the hearts of animal lovers comes from Germany, where a nine-strong team of rescuers was deployed to save a sewer rat which was so fat that it … Continue readingDon’t let’s be beastly to the vermin

WHAT a comfort it is to know that highly paid scientists are beavering away at the frontiers of research to find new ways of scaring the living daylights out of … Continue readingPut down the toaster and come out with your hands up

A SEARING initiative to deal with the problem of poor language skills among children has been announced. Staff at Clarks shoe shops are to be tasked with improving youngsters’ vocabulary … Continue readingAn insole to the intelligence

ALTHOUGH not normally an admirer of fantasy fiction, I make an exception for Mervyn Peake’s remarkable novels Titus Groan and Gormenghast. They contain some of the most vivid description and … Continue readingPeake of perfection

CHILDREN as young as eight are to be taught at schools in Leftie Brighton (where else?) that boys as well as girls can have periods.All lavatories (I presume they are … Continue readingA period of transition

WELCOME again to the land of you couldn’t make it up, where the hot news is that a Cambridge University academic says the minimum voting age should be reduced to … Continue readingVote Pig, and muddy puddles!

THE company which owns an ‘upmarket’ fast food chain has come up with an enterprising excuse for falling sales. It’s that bloody Brexit to blame. Famous Brands, which is based … Continue readingA burger with fries, please, and hold the Brexit